An Immortal Cure For Hiccups

(My cousin has hiccups bad enough that he nearly chokes while eating.)

Me: “Do you need me to tell you something scary to help you get rid of them?”

Cousin: “Sure.”

Me: “Someday, you and everyone you love will die!”

Cousin: *waits a moment and hiccups* “Nope. Didn’t do anything.”

Me: “One day, our planet will die and be engulfed by the sun!”

Cousin: *hiccups* “Doesn’t really bother me.”

Me: “[Grandmother neither of us gets along with] may be immortal!”

(After a start, he waits for a hiccup. When some time, passes we start to realize that they’re actually gone.)

Me: “Wait, that actually worked? Everyone dying and being devoured by the sun didn’t scare you, but that did it?”

Cousin: “That’s messed up! I’m telling your mom that one!”