Immigration Check-Mate

(It is a hot day, and I’m in a long queue at the checkout. There is a very well-dressed woman in front of me with a baby carriage. She is in no way shabby — she has an expensive haircut, designer clothes, and unique jewelry — and she seems to be in her early twenties. In the carriage is a very well-behaved baby munching on a piece of cucumber. An elderly lady in front of the young woman turns to her.)

Old Lady: “Do you want to go before me? I see you only have a few items.”

Young Woman: *smiling, with a strange accent* “Thank you kindly, but I cannot accept that. You are very nice, though.”

Old Lady: “It is no problem, I assure you. You should head home with the baby as soon as possible in this heat!”

(The young woman accepts the offer after a few more arguments, and then helps the lady load her own groceries on the belt. They are chatting meanwhile, and the young woman, while she has a strong accent, speaks English pretty well, and politely and eagerly makes small talk about the little boy with the lady. Another man from behind me butts in, shouting at the old lady.)

Man: “Don’t pamper that bloody immigrant! They are doing nothing more than taking our jobs and living out of benefits!”

(It is very obvious that the young lady is not on benefits. She jerks from the yelling, and the baby also starts crying, which makes the man yell more.)

Me: “Hey, that’s rude!”

Man: “Shut up! She is doing nothing more than leeching on us citizens!”

(The young woman picks up the baby and turns around, beet red with anger.)

Young Woman: “Let me stop you right there. Unless you are a professor of [extremely obscure scientific field] or at least a fellow teacher at [University], I am not taking your job, and I was never on benefits, not here nor at home. Besides, this baby is a citizen; he is the son of my friend, and I am just babysitting him until the semester starts. But I have to say, if you are so afraid of me taking your job, you must be crap at it.”

(The man started spluttering and tried to curse at her, but the young woman turned away as it was her turn for the cashier. The old lady started to comfort her and the baby, and they left together, the young woman helping to carry the old woman’s groceries. The man tried to harvest some sympathy, but everyone turned away. Served him well!)