Immaculate Misconception, Part 3

| Working | April 15, 2013

(While at the movies, I have to leave due to a severe pain in my side. It’s so bad that I black out. My friend who is with me calls the paramedics; by the time the EMTs show up, my friend and I both believe I have appendicitis.)

EMT: “Are you pregnant?”

Me: “No, it’s appendicitis.”

EMT: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes. I have never had sex.”

(The EMT gives me a disbelieving look and checks my ID.)

EMT: “You’re not 19.”

Me: “Yes, I am. I have appendicitis.”

(This continues until I arrive at the hospital, where I wait for several hours screaming in pain during which time my family and boyfriend show up. I try in vain to convince them I have appendicitis, but the doctors believe I am pregnant or have a cyst. After four hours, no doctor has been contacted. However, a nurse performs an ultrasound to find the nonexistent cyst/fetus.)

Nurse: “Huh. I can’t find anything.”

Me: “That’s because I have appendicitis.”

Nurse: “That can’t be right. Let’s try again.”

(She tries again and frowns when nothing comes up. She moves the ultrasound up and to my side where I’m clutching myself in pain. Suddenly, I see her smiling and happy.)

Nurse: “Hey! Guess what?! It’s just appendicitis!”

(My ‘just appendicitis’ nearly killed me within hours. The doctor didn’t want to come in, as the nurse had to tell him that yes, it was appendicitis, not some pregnant kid.)


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