Imagine Using Your Own Brain For Once

We have a very flakey and extremely volatile salesperson. She blows up on you at a drop of a hat for the most asinine reasons. Typically, she thinks you made her look incompetent while ignoring the fact that she does that all on her own with her inability to listen. For a while, she was using me as her own personal secretary. I am not a secretary or an admin. I am technical and got my degree in STEM, but we were all a team so I would update her on meetings she was just in not five minutes prior.

The health crisis happened and her abuse skyrocketed to new heights. At points, she was telling me to text other engineers about what they were working on and spent hours berating me for not knowing, all while trying to isolate me so only she could speak to me. It was a literal nightmare. Telling her to go talk to my coworkers herself never worked.

But I learned to buckle down with, “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask them?” shortly after we all came back into the office. It didn’t matter if I knew the answer or not. I was not going to share it with someone who was verbally abusive to me on top of refusing to listen in the first place.

It is first thing Monday morning when this takes place, and all of her questions were already addressed late Friday afternoon.

Salesperson: “Hey, [My Name]. I noticed that they got plates and cups this weekend. Did they get anything else from [Wholesale Store]?”

Me: “I dunno. I guess what was on the list we went over Friday. Did you ask for something?”

Salesperson: “No.”

Me: “Then I don’t know what you expect.”

Salesperson: “So, no popcorn?”

I shrug.

Salesperson: “Do you know where [Contractor she constantly misgenders] got on Friday?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Salesperson: “So, [they] didn’t ask you for any help?”

Me: “Considering, it is [Coworker #1]’s project, why don’t you ask her?”

Salesperson: “Okay… What is [Coworker #1] working on for [Owner], anyway?”

Me: *Shrugs again* “I don’t know. You are going to have to ask her.”

Salesperson: *Pauses* “And do you know when we are having a meeting next with [Contractor #2]?”

Me: “I don’t know. I am not privy to that information.”

Salesperson: “I think [Owner] and [Contractor #2] are going to meet frequently.”

Me: *shrugs* “I wouldn’t know.”

Salesperson: “And [Her Favorite Contractor]? Is he supposed to be in today?”

Me: “I don’t know his schedule. I am not in charge of him.” *Silently* “You are.”

Salesperson: *Scoffs* “Well, what do you know?”

Me: “That I should get back to work.”

Shortly after, she storms out.

Me: *To [Coworker #2]* “By the way, I ordered popcorn. It is hidden in my desk if you want some.”

Coworker #2: *Laughs* “Hidden popcorn?”

Me: “Yeah. I ordered it after the meeting. If I didn’t, none of us would get any.”

Yes, I knew the answers. Yes, this was all stuff she should have known the answer to.