“Imagine” A More Compassionate Boss

(I am working in the warehouse of a local supermarket when all of a sudden a piece of racking collapses and an entire pallet of beer falls on me. I am knocked to the ground and badly injured, and I lay dazed on the floor. A coworker signals an emergency and begins applying first aid.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], don’t you fall asleep on me.”

Me: *slurred* “I am kinda tired, though.”

Coworker: “Don’t make me sing to you.”

(Singing can be used to help keep a person conscious by making them focus on the words of the song.)

Me: “Aw, would you really do that?”

Coworker: *begins singing ‘Imagine’ by John Lennon*

(By this point maybe a dozen colleagues have responded to the emergency alarm and have come to try and help. An ambulance has been called but I was starting to fall asleep and a couple more colleagues joined in the singing. My supervisor finally arrives.)

Supervisor: “Where the f*** have you guys been?! You’re here to work not to start a f***ing concert! Get your lazy a**es back out there before I fire the lot of you! Which idiot hit the emergency alarm?”

(Always nice to know your supervisor has your interests at heart.)