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| Related | February 8, 2017

(I have a hard time understanding speech sometimes, especially if the voice is very low-pitched or has a thick accent. My stepfather has a low voice and a thick Low Country accent — VERY southern even compared to upstate South Carolina where we live. He’s seen some coyotes outside so we’ve gone out to look for them and scare them off. I’m standing on the porch looking into the yard, and he’s at the edge of the yard looking away from me into the woods.)

Me: “I don’t see anything…”

Stepfather: “Imafathisgunwuntam.”

Me: “Sorry, I didn’t—”

Shotgun: *BLAM!*

Me: “Ah. Got it.”

(Apparently it was “I’ma fire this gun one time.”)

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