I’m The Only Person Ever Born Today  

(I work at a casual dining restaurant. We’re generally very busy on the weekends and reservations are always recommended, especially for large parties. Some people have a hard time understanding how reservations work.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant].”

Guest: “I have a birthday party here.”

Me: “Okay, do you have a reservation?”

Guest: “Yes, it’s a birthday party.”

Me: “Okay, what’s the name on the reservation?”

Guest: *becoming irate* “It’s the birthday party.”

Me: “All right, miss, but the name?”

Guest: *sassily* “How many other birthday parties do you have?”

Me: “Um, if I look at the notes on all the reservations… it looks like we have… three other guests celebrating birthdays tonight.”

Guest: “Well, we’re the birthday party. They’re already here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I haven’t seated a birthday party yet this evening. How many are in your party? Could the name be [Name]?”

Guest: “Yes, isn’t that obvious? We’re the birthday party.”

Me: “Okay, I show that reservation for 8:30 this evening, not 7:00, so we would still need to set up your table.”

Guest: “But they’re already here.”

Me: “You’re more than welcome to have a look around, but I do not show that reservation as being seated.”

(Thoroughly pissed off at me, she stampedes through the dining room, and then comes back to the other side to check the bar for her party. Leaving me with a glare, she walks back to our wine tasting area. She comes back later at 8:30 with the rest of her party to be seated.)

Guest: “We’re the birthday party.”