Earning Your Dinner

(There is a store a couple of blocks from my house that I go to fairly often. I apply to try and get a job but am turned down. Since then I have found a better job. After work, I swing by to grab something for dinner, still in my uniform and name badge. Immediately, I am pounced on by three customers from different directions. This is despite my uniform being completely different from the store’s uniform.)

Customer #1: “FINALLY! There are no workers anywhere! I need to know where the walnuts are! The baking aisle isn’t where it used to be!”

Customer #2: “No, help me first! There are no more paper towels on the rack! They are on sale and I need them!”

Customer #3: “When you can, please, I need 20 bags of ice from the freezer.”

Me: “Uh… I don’t work here.”

Customer #1: “Oh of course you do! NOW, WALNUTS!”

Me: “Aisle eight is the baking aisle now, after the reset a week ago. Walnuts will be with the other nuts right next to the frostings, third shelf down I believe, about halfway down the aisle on the right.” *I turn to Customer #2* “Paper towels? If the rack is empty you should check at the end of aisle 15, there was a display end cap for them I saw yesterday and there should be plenty left.”

(I then turn to Customer #3, a little old lady who needs the ice. I lead her to the frozen aisle, load her cart for her, and give her a polite salute when she says goodbye. Then I finally grab my dinner and make my way to a check-stand. The cashier happens to be the owner, and as he rings me up he frowns.)

Owner: “Why the h*** don’t you work for me?!”

Me: “Uh… you never hired me.”

Owner: “An inexcusable oversight on my part! I heard you helping those people. Still need a job?”

Me: *I show him my badge from work* “Nope! Thanks, though.”

Owner: “D***!”

This story is part of our “I Don’t Work Here” roundup!

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