I’m Onna Gonna Tell You Once

(I’m lying in bed next to my husband reading something on my phone. He’s lying down to take a nap and has been asking me to cuddle him. I haven’t replied to him because I wanted to finish what I was reading, so he starts complaining to our five-year-old daughter. Note: I am trying to learn Japanese and am very fond of the culture.)

Husband: *sad voice* “I need cuddles, [Daughter]. But momma won’t cuddle me.”

Daughter: “Momma, cuddle Daddy!”

Me: *giggling at what I’m reading*

Daughter: “I know! I’ll tell her in Japanese style!”

(She walks over to my side of the bed and climbs up, looking stern.)

Daughter: *very obviously making up words* “Onna! Onna!” *points at her daddy* “Cuddle!”

(I start giggling hysterically and look at my husband.)

Me: “You know what’s funny? ‘Onna’ is actually Japanese for woman!”