I’m An Old Bean

(I am 19. A man walks into the coffee shop with bloodshot eyes, smelling strongly of alcohol.)

Customer: “Don’t worry; I’m not driving. I want some coffee beans.”

Me: “Okay, do you want a dark roast or a medium roast?

Customer: “I don’t know.”

(He looks at the menu.)

Customer: “Are you old enough to drink coffee?”

Me: “I’ve been drinking coffee since I was eight.”

Customer: “What are you now? Twelve?”

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