I’m Not A Snake Oil Salesman

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Right | February 2, 2016

(I run a small business catching and relocating venomous snakes from people’s yards and public areas. Australia is up top of the list for deadliest snakes in the world. I get a phone call one morning from a very anxious person saying they had a black snake in their yard. From the accent it sounds like they are not local to Australia.)

Me: “Can you see the snake right now?”

Customer: “YES! YES! YES! It’s right beside the kid’s pool. Come get it! Get it now!”

Me: “Okay, sir, slow down a moment and give me your address, and just to advise it’s a $[total] call out fee, even if the snake moves away.”

Customer: “That’s fine! Come get it!”

(I quickly drive to the address, armed with my usual equipment, to meet the petrified client, who rushes me into the backyard and points towards a little wading pool for the kids. I move towards it carefully and to my shock… it’s the customer’s garden hose. He didn’t want to pay but he also didn’t like it when I pulled one of the boxes out of my car with a six-foot Eastern Brown Snake in it and told him I needed a place to relocate this snake to. The cash appeared quickly after that.)

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