I’m From The Philippines; I Only Work In Outer Space

Our call center allows us to work from home due to health reasons as long as we have a stable Internet connection, which, thankfully, I do.

Caller: “Where am I calling? This had better be an American!”

Me: “You’re calling Cebu in the Philippines, sir.”

Caller: “I want to speak to an American, d*** it!”

I try to explain more but this caller just isn’t having it. Thankfully, due to watching too many shows and YouTube, I can do a pretty good accent from someone in the US. I put them on hold, switch accents, and come back to them.

Me: “Hello, sir, you’re speaking to [My Nickname]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Thank God, you’re an American. Where are you?”

Drawing a blank, I just think about a line from a “Star Trek” movie I have seen recently where Captain Kirk says, “I’m from Iowa; I only work in outer space.”

Me: “Iowa, sir.”

Just then, a rooster cries the typical “cock-a-doodle-do!” in the backyard of my very rural, very Filipino home that is certainly not in Iowa.

Caller: “Good! Sounds like Iowa, too! Now, my problem is—”