I’m Afraud Not

I manage a cell phone store. It’s not uncommon for customers to come ask us to print out a copy of their receipts; they might need it for an insurance claim, sell it to someone, or what have you. A lady steps up to my register.

Lady: “My workplace is covering the cost of my cell phone purchase, up to 8,000 NOK (approx. $800), so I need a receipt to show them.”

Me: “I’m happy to help you find that. May I look at your cell phone? I could use its serial number to look up the receipt.”

Lady: “Oh, I didn’t actually buy a phone here, I just need a receipt for 8,000 NOK.”

Me: *Not understanding.* “I’m sorry, I can’t find it if you didn’t buy the phone here.”

Lady: “No, I just need a receipt for 8,000 NOK, so that my job will give me that money.”

Me: “But I don’t have a receipt for that?”

Lady: *Annoyed.* “Just make me one!”

Me: “You want me to make a fake receipt for 8,000 NOK?”

Lady: “Yes, of course!”

Me: “I won’t do that! I’m not helping you commit fraud!”

Lady: *Offended.* “What? How dare you? That’s not fraud! I just want them to give me the extra money!”

Me: “Yeah, good luck with that. Next, please!”