Illogical Jedi

(I am teaching, and our assistant principal has decided to do a contest to encourage us to keep attendance up towards the end of the school year. She makes it a Star Wars theme. I like the idea, and begin wearing a button every day with a picture of Yoda on it. Then the AP begins to post signs around the school with pictures of Darth Vader that reads “May the Force be With You”, and pictures of Yoda that reads “There is no try, there is only do.” As a geek, I was a little bit more than slightly annoyed. When the third very wrong sign came out – “Don’t join the Dark Side, Skywalker” – I approached the assistant principal.)

Me: “Would you like some help with your signs?”

Assistant Principal: “No, I’ve pretty much got it. I google a picture, and then put a quote.”

Me: “I know it’s silly, but you’re not putting quotes. Not really. I’m a geek, and I’m a bit weird about this sort of thing. Sorry.”

Assistant Principal: “I’m a geek, too. You have to know because I wanted to do a Star Wars contest.”

Me: “Yes. I did think that was pretty neat, but Yoda said, ‘Do or Do Not. There is no try.’ And it would make more sense if Obi wan said ‘May the force be with you.'”

Assistant Principal: “Who? Now you’re making stuff up.”

Me: “Obi wan Kenobi? The Jedi who started training Luke Skywalker?”

Assistant Principal: “The old guy? In the first movie?”

Me: “Um, sure yes. The first one they made. They called him Old Ben on Tatooine.”

Assistant Principal: “Yeah, I know. See, I’m a geek, too.”

Me: “Sure. But I’m still willing to help you with your posters.”

Assistant Principal: “Look, I’m a geek, too. And nobody else watches the movies, so you can deal with it.”

Me: “Are you misquoting on purpose for the contest? Because I don’t have a problem with that.”

Assistant Principal: “No, I’m not misquoting. I’m just a bigger geek than you.”

Me: “I— you know what, I’m going to go back to my classroom and clean something.”

(Nobody has been taking the contest seriously anyway, so I take my button home and decide not to wear Star Wars clothing for the rest of the contest – in order to avoid conflict. The next day is a casual day, so I show up in a Star Trek Original Season Science Department uniform. The students are used to me showing up in geeky clothing and are not phased. The AP meets me as I sign in.)

Assistant Principal: “You can’t fool me. That’s not even the right movie. Why did you come dressed up from the wrong movie?”

Me: “Nowhere am I so desperately needed as among a shipload of illogical humans.”

Assistant Principal: “…okay, so you’re here. But which movie are you supposed to be from?”

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