I’ll Take A Burger With Crying Onions And Some Sweet Jesus

, , , , , | Right | August 20, 2018

(My mother goes to church with a woman who no one can stand. This includes me, even though I don’t go to church with my mom. This woman has been banned from her previous churches, various restaurants, and a few stores for being either very rude or assaulting or threatening to assault other people and employees. One day, she happens to come through the drive-thru where I work. I am in charge since my manager is at a meeting. I am in the kitchen listening to the speaker as my cashier takes her order. I recognize her voice. Everyone I work with has years of history together, so we treat each other like close family; mess with one of us, you mess with all of us.)

Cashier: “[Restaurant], how can I help you?”

Customer: “I want your [two burger promotion].”

Cashier: “Okay, which ones?”

Customer: “The [two burger promotion].”

Cashier: “The promotion includes [five different hamburgers].”

Customer: “I want the two burgers!”

(This goes on for a while before the cashier finally gets her to specify which two burgers she wants. She goes up to the window before the cashier gives her total, as I make the burgers.)

Cashier: “Just the [burgers], right? It was [total].”

Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me back there?”

Cashier: “You drove off before I could. Your total was [total].”

Customer: “No, they were [promotion price]!”

Cashier: “Yeah, that’s before tax.”

Customer: “But the sign says it’s [price]!”

Cashier: “The fine print of the sign also says, ‘plus tax where applicable.’ Everything sold in this state is taxed.”

Customer: “So, you think you Mexicans can take my money because California feels sorry for you being brown?”

Cashier: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I bet there’s not a d*** person with a decent education in here!”

(I finish the burgers and overhear the conversation; my fryer guy is becoming livid about her racism. I tell him to go calm down in the freezer, then come around the corner to the front and ask the cashier to step back. I lean against the window counter and smile.)

Me: “Hey, [Customer]. Remember me, [Mom]’s daughter?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. I didn’t think you worked here. How are you?”

Me: “Zip it.”

(She looks at me, mortified. I hear the cashier gasp a bit.)

Me: “I’ve listened to this whole thing. You have no right to come here and berate my friend about a price she has no control over. If you were any other customer, we’d deal with it and let it go. But this time I’ve had enough. I will be informing [Pastor] and [Mom] about this. None of us will serve you here again, since 95% of the staff is Latino. Get out.”

(I close and lock the window as she screams and drives off. I go back into the kitchen to find the fryer guy listening in.)

Cashier: “Holy crap, dude!”

Fryer Guy: “Did you just tell her you’re going to tell your mom?”

Me: “She goes to her church; everyone hates her because she acts like that everywhere.”

Fryer Guy: “That b**** goes to church? For what, being the body to send exorcised demons to?”

(An hour later the phone rings and the cashier answers. She hands it to me, smiling.)

Cashier: “It’s church lady.”

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Are you the manager?”

Me: “At the moment.”

Customer: “One of your employees yelled at me!”

Me: “Really? I bet she was fed up. Did you happen to call and rant to [Mom] about it yet? If you haven’t, tell her I said hi and I’ll be home late.”

(She gasped and hung up. I got home and explained to my mom what happened. She laughed and promptly told the pastor. He scheduled a meeting with her about her behavior. Not very Christian of her to act like that.)

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