I’ll Have The Package She’s Having

(I am shopping around for a new phone and am chatting to an employee regarding new providers. The provider she is trying to convince me to switch to is called ‘Virgin Mobile.’)

Employee: “So have you heard about all the perks you get?”

Me: “Enlighten me.”

Employee: “Well, as a Virgin, you get more music, more deals, and even discounts at stores!”

Me: *snickering already* “Really now?”

Employee: “Yeah, I’m a Virgin, too. Why wouldn’t I? So many benefits!”

Me: “So I guess you’re screwed if you’re not a Virgin…”

Employee: “You’re definitely screwed if you’re not a Virgin!”

(A customer walks by.)

Customer: “D*** straight you get screwed if you’re not a virgin. That’s the whole point!”

(The employee then realizes what she’s been saying and blushes redder than a tomato,)

Employee: “God, that’s the third time this month I’ve said that…”