I’ll Have The Dry Soup And The Purple Salad

(When I am in high school I go on a trip from Chicago to the Boundary Waters of Canada. This is a 24-hour bus trip, and we stop for dinner at some point. One of my friends was completely asleep, and is still groggy when we start ordering.)

Waitress: “What would you like?”

Friend: “I’ll have the chicken sandwich.”

Waitress: “Soup or salad?”

Friend: “What’s the difference?”

Waitress: “…?”

Me: “Soup is wet; salad is green.”

Friend: “Wait, no, I mean… Um…”

Me: *to waitress* “Maybe you should come back to him.”

(At this point we were all giggling so hard that ordering was delayed for a few minutes.)