I’ll Have Half Pepperoni, Half Deadly Disease

During the 2020 health crisis, we order carryout from a local pizza chain. There is a queue to enter the restaurant in order to maintain social distancing. When I finally enter the store, I see that the only workers wearing masks are at the front desk. Only a few of the folks making pizza are wearing masks. The few that are wearing masks are wearing them around their necks and not covering their noses and mouths.

Me: “Uh, your workers don’t have to wear masks?”

Cashier: “They have respiratory issues so they don’t have to wear masks.”

Me: “So, of the twelve people working here, ten of them have respiratory issues?”

Cashier: “Well, we don’t ask for documentation of the illness.”

Me: “Cancel my order.”