I’ll Have A Pleasant Regular With A Side Friend

, , , , , | Right | January 20, 2020

(I work as a server, barista, and cook in a small cafe. One day, we have a pleasant regular come in with a friend. From the moment she enters, my colleague and I already know she’ll be a piece of work; she just has that aura.)

Regular: “I’d like the quiche of the day, please, with a side salad.”

Friend: “I’ll have a salad.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve just salads. You can have a quiche or soup with a side salad.”

Friend: “Well, you have the ingredients, so why can’t you just make a bigger plate for me?”

Me: “Because we need to book it, and since we don’t have it in the system, I can’t serve it to you.”

Friend: “I’ll pay whatever; just tell me a price.”

Me: “I can’t do that. Price calculation is very complicated; we have to consider taxes, cost of ingredients…”

Friend: *still complaining*

Regular: “Look, I’ll just have two slices of quiche and you can have both side salads, all right?”

Me: *mental note to make all his orders a double shot of espresso for ever* 

(He never brought that friend in again.)

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