I’ll Get That Refund Even If It Kills Me!

Customer: “What’s your flavor of the month?”

Me: “That’s the almond vanilla, sir.”

Customer: “Don’t trust things that taste like almonds! Cyanide tastes like almond! If you wanted to poison me, that’s how you’d do it!”

Me: “Well, I can assure you there’s no cyanide in our almond vanilla ice cream, sir.”

Customer: “Do you make it yourself or does it come from a factory? They could have put it in at the factory!”

Me: “That’s… highly unlikely, sir.”

Customer: “Okay, but if there’s cyanide in there, I’m getting a refund!”

Me: “Sir, if there’s any cyanide in this ice cream, I think you’ll have bigger worries than getting a refund.”

He got the ice cream. He lived.