I’ll Call The Russo Brothers Immediately

An elderly woman walks up to me at the box office.

Customer: “Are you guys getting [Movie]?”

Me: “Yup, it comes out this Friday and we have pre-sale tickets available! Would you like to buy tickets for it?”

Customer: “It’s not right, you know!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “They advertise these movies on TV, but they never tell you the theaters it’ll be at or the times it’s showing. I watch a lot of TV, and they never tell you that!”

Me: *Confused* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I watch a lot of TV, you know! I saw a commercial for [Movie] during [Sitcom], but they wouldn’t say whether this theater had it, or the times!”

I’m amused, but I try to hide it.

Me: “Um… well, they can’t really put that information into a commercial. There’s a lot of movie theaters in the US. The commercial would have to be pretty long to fit all of that information in.”

Customer: “Pfft! Hogwash! I watch a lot of TV! At least they could tell me what theaters it’s in and when it’s playing!”

I ring her up for a few opening night tickets while she continues to go on a rant about how the TV spots for the movie won’t tell her when the movie is playing and what theaters are getting it. It’s actually kind of adorable that she doesn’t get it how the commercials work.

She also tries to convince me to personally change it, as though a minimum-wage worker in upstate New York has any power over a movie studio in Los Angeles.

As she is leaving, she shouts one last thing:

Customer: “These tickets are good at any theater, right? I don’t know if I want to go here when [Competing Theater] is closer to my house.”

She left before I could respond, and I didn’t see her the opening night when I was working. I did not envy the workers at that other theater.