Ignoring The Baby Steps

(I’m 27 and just had my first child. I’ve never really been around babies before and as I gave birth nearly four weeks early, I have missed all the antenatal classes I had booked. This is the first morning I have been well enough to get out of bed after surgery and my first time alone with the baby and I’m understandably nervous.  My baby starts crying and I check her nappy and see that I’ll have to change her, so I pick up the nappies and start examining the packet when a midwife walks in.)

Midwife: “I see you’re finally out of bed. Your baby is crying and you need to sort it.”

Me: “Oh I know. I was just looking at the packet but there don’t seem to be any instructions.”

Midwife: *condescending* “Of course there isn’t ,you silly girl! Everyone knows how to put on a nappy.”

Me: “I really don’t. I’ve never done it before and missed all my antenatal classes as I had [Daughter] so early. I was hoping there would be some kind of instructions. Would you be able to give me a start?”

Midwife: “No! I’m far too busy!” *storms out the room*

(I’m now panicking but decide to drive in and give it a go. I take off the dirty one, give baby a wipe to clean her up and start to put it on just as the midwife walks in for my records.)

Midwife: *shouting* “YOU’VE GOT IT BACKWARDS!” *mutters something about me being stupid as she walks out again*

(At this point I’m quite upset and feeling a bit of a failure and generally wondering if I’m cut out for motherhood. I carry on and manage to figure it out and feel a bit better once I can see it’s on and secure. The midwife walks in.)

Midwife: “What are you doing?! You’ve got it all wrong!”

(She snatches the baby and starts to adjust the nappy where I can’t see what she is doing and complaining about stupid girls getting themselves knocked up. When she is finished, she puts baby back in the crib and stalks off.  I promptly burst into tears, which is when my husband arrives. He manages to get out of me what happens and marches up to the desk where the head midwife sits.)

Husband: “One of your midwives has just upset my wife, who is still poorly from surgery, because she didn’t know how to change a nappy.”

(He goes on to tell her what happened.)

Head Midwife: “I had it noted on her file it was her first baby and she had missed her antenatal classes. Don’t worry, I’ll sort it.”

(I later found out the midwife was moved wards so she was away from me for the rest of my stay and I was introduced to a wonderful care assistant who helped me with everything from nappies and how to bathe the baby to feeding and dressing her. I sent a tin of chocolates to thank everyone on the ward once I left.)