If You’ve Ever Wondered What Your Boss’s Mom Would Think Of Them…

Our new store manager is an awful human being. He’s arrogant, bigoted, angry, and vengeful; he’s just a terrible, tiny little man with a complex against the whole world.

I am serving a customer who is trying on some shoes.

Customer: “Hmm, do you have these in size eight or nine?”

Me: “We should do! I’ll just go and check!”

I turn to head to the back room, and [Store Manager] is standing at the end of the aisle.

Store Manager: “Did you just say, ‘We should do,’ to a customer?”

Me: “…yes?”

Store Manager: “What makes you think that is an acceptable way to speak to a customer?”

Me: “I… I don’t know what you mean.”

Store Manager: “So, you’re stupid as well as unprofessional? Your customers are not your buddies! They’re not your mates! You should say, ‘We do have those in stock,’ or, ‘We do not.’ None of this stupid ‘We should do’ nonsense!”

Me: “But I don’t know the stock off the top of my head. I—”

Store Manager: “And why is that?!”

Before I can answer, there is a loud throat-clearing sound, and we both turn to see another customer — an older woman — standing near us.

Older Customer: “I see you’re still being a miserable c**t, [Store Manager].”

Store Manager: *Going red* “I… You…”

Suddenly, I see something I have never seen happen before. [Store Manager] visibly deflates, and he calmly speaks to me.

Store Manager: “Just get back to work.”

I do so, happy to get away from that terrible interaction.

I finish up with my current customer and get the sale. After my next customer, the older woman approaches me.

Older Customer: “Don’t worry about [Store Manager], dear. I told him what an absolute p*ll*ck he was being. I don’t think he’ll change, but he won’t be punishing you for embarrassing him.”

Me: “Thank… you? I’m sorry, I have to ask, but who are you?”

Older Customer: “Oh! I’m the poor woman who gave birth that sorry sod, and I make it a point to come to every shop where I know he’s working and remind him how to be a human being to those unfortunate enough to work under him. All I have to do is turn up and wait five minutes, and he’s never let me down.”

Me: “I… see.”

Older Customer: “Anyway! Best of luck! If he keeps acting like a p***k, just say you’ll tell his mummy about him. That usually works! Toodles!”

And with that, she headed out with her purchase, which I don’t even think she needed. The store manager was a lot more amenable after that!