If Your Skull Was Clear, We Still Couldn’t See Your Brain

I am the manager on duty at a famous candle shop. An irate woman storms up to the counter, shopping bag in hand.

Woman: “This candle is defective! I demand a refund!”

Me: “How is it defective, ma’am?”

Woman: “Every time I light it, it goes out the second I put the top on it!”

Me: “No candle will burn with a top on it, ma’am; it needs oxygen to—”

Woman: “Don’t give me that crap! If that was true, the top wouldn’t be clear so I could see the flame!”

Me: “…”