If You Really (Medi)Cared, You Wouldn’t Speak To Customers Like That!

I received yet another scam call. I get them frequently, but it’s usually a speech-recognition system. This one was a real person with a thick accent from another country.

Scammer: “Our records show that you do have Medicare, parts A and B, right?”

Me: “Who told you I have Medicare?”

Scammer: “Your friend, Alex.”

Me: “My friend told you I have Medicare?”

Scammer: “Yes, that’s why we are calling you about your Medicare benefits, sir — to make sure you have what you need and help you get the right plan.”

Me: “Sounds like a scam to me.”

Scammer: “It’s not a scam, sir.”

Me: “Okay, prove to me it’s not a scam.”

Scammer: “Ask me any question. I’ll prove to you it’s not a scam.”

Me: “What’s the name of your company?”

Scammer: “US Senior Care.”

Me: “And do you have a website?”

Scammer: “Of course we do.”

Me: “What’s your website?”

Scammer: “US Senior Care.”

Me: “Dot com, dot org, dot net…?”

Scammer: “Dot com! Dot com.”

Me: “Okay, let’s try ‘usseniorcare dot com’… Nope, that domain is for sale.”

Scammer: “No, I mean it is US Senior Health Care.”

Me: “I’ll try that… ‘usseniorhealthcare dot com’… That domain is also for sale. Want to try again?”

Scammer: “It’s just Senior Health Care, sir. Are you not listening to me? Are you not understanding me?”

Me: “Oh, no ‘US’ in it, then? All right, I’ll type in ‘seniorhealthcare dot com’… That gave me an error message that the address cannot be found.”

Scammer: “F*** you! F*** you, man, you f****** motherf*****!”

Me: “I got the scammer to swear at me! I win!”