If You Like It Then You Should Have Engineered A Structurally Sound Ring On It

Our civil engineering office is a bright, open-plan floor with blueprints pinned to the walls, scale models of bridges and roadworks on the shelves, and the low hum of printers spitting out plans.

I’m perched on the corner of my desk, explaining to a new client’s contractor how to fix an issue with the load calculations on a retaining wall.

Me: “No, you’ll need to increase the reinforcement here, otherwise the lateral pressure won’t hold. If you follow the original drawing, it’ll fail inspection.”

The contractor wants to disregard the printout, clearly not expecting pushback, but cannot find fault in my explanation.

Contractor: “Huh. Okay, I guess that makes sense. So… is your husband an engineer or something?”

My female colleagues look up from their desks.

Me: “My… husband?”

Contractor: “That’s how you know all this stuff, right?”

Me: “Riiiight. Because engineering knowledge just transfers by osmosis. Sleep next to a bloke and suddenly you’ve got a civil degree.”

Coworker: *Calling across the room.* “D***, wish I’d known! I’d have saved myself four years of uni and all that student debt!”

The contractor flushes, realizing what he’s just said, but it’s far too late.

Me: “For the record, no husband required. Just ten years of my own training and a license with my name on it.”

All my ladies start laughing while he mumbles something about “just asking” and retreats.