If You Have To Tell People You’re Nice, You’re Probably Not

, , , , | | Right | July 16, 2019

(I am placing my order at a Chinese takeout place when a woman comes in and goes right to the side of me and tries to order herself. The man taking my order holds up a finger to tell her “one moment.” The woman turns to the people cooking in the back.)

Customer: “Hello?! Can’t any of you take my order?! I guess you’re all just too busy.”

(She moves into line behind me and taps her foot impatiently. When I’m done, I move to a nearby table to wait while she goes up to order.)

Customer: “I’ll have a wonton soup.”

Cashier: “Okay, ma’am. Which size?”

Customer: “Extra wonton.”

Cashier: “Yes, ma’am. Which size—“

Customer: “WONTON SOUP?! Can you not understand?!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I understand. I just need to know which size you need.”

Customer: “GOD! SMALL! AND THERE HAD BETTER BE EXTRA WONTONS IN THERE!”

(The cashier places her order and she steps off to wait, turning to me.)

Customer: “Can you believe some people?!”

Me: “I really can’t sometimes.”

Customer: “They could at least learn to speak—“

(I’m a very reserved person, but right about here I just go off on her.)

Me: “I’m talking about you!”

Customer: *clearly taken aback* “Me?! What did I do?”

Me: “For starters, as soon as you came in here you tried to cut in front of me while I was in the middle of ordering. You then proceeded to be incredibly rude to the people running this place.”

Customer: “Well, I’m in a hurry! I’m double-parked outside!”

(I look outside and, sure enough, there is a car parked in the middle of the small street with its emergency lights on while cars coming from both directions are struggling to get past it.)

Me: “And you’re blocking traffic.”

Customer: “Well, I’m a very nice person! I really am.” *pauses for a few seconds* “Would it help if I said I’m sorry for trying to cut in front of you?”

Me: *very surprised* “It’s fine. Just try and be a better person and be more aware of others in the future.”

(Her food is suddenly up. She grabs it and bolts for the door but turns and stops right before she gets outside.)

Customer: “Really, I am a very good person.”

Me: “Well, if you would like to show it, they do have a tip jar here.”

Customer: *suddenly turning rotten again* “I would never tip these people. If they are so great, why don’t you tip them?!”

(My food was now up, as well. I made a big show for her of putting a few dollars in the tip jar. She just scowled before running to her car.)

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