If You Can’t Understand The Heat, Get Out Of The Kitchen

Coworker #1: “Hey, I need to know what to do for these casseroles. Do I need to cook the pasta and stuff?”

(Note: She has known for weeks that I am preparing the casseroles ahead of time, which to most people would mean that I am going to cook the pasta.)

Me: “No, I took care of that already, like we talked about. You just need to pop them in the oven at 425 degrees until the cheese on top melts. It shouldn’t take too long.”

Coworker #1: “But what does that mean? I don’t understand!”

Me: “Just melt the cheese on them. Just take the tops off the pans and put the pans in the oven. At 425 degrees. It will be really hard to mess up.”

Coworker #1: “I can’t do this! It’s too much! It’s too much work! And my foot hurts so I can’t be messing with an oven!”

Me: “Okay. Well, I don’t really see how your foot plays into this, but it’s really not much work. You are just putting a few pans in the oven and taking them out when the cheese is melted.”

Coworker #1: “I don’t know how to do that! I don’t know how to cook! Ovens are scary!”

(Coworker #2 has overheard the conversation and speaks up.)

Coworker #2: *to Coworker #1* “Um, didn’t you go to culinary school before this job? In, like, Italy?”

Coworker #1: “Yeah, so? They don’t teach you how to use OVENS!”