If You Can’t Trust Librarians, Who Can You Trust?

At our main library, we have a kitchen where staff can store their lunches in a large refrigerator. A lot of folks trust each other implicitly and keep lunches in the fridge, even after their lunches are raided — chips here, cookies there, fruit from this one, an entire sandwich from that.

One of these victims is a friend of mine. Her lunch has been raided several times and the thief always takes the same thing: a cup of high-end, expensive, sugar-free applesauce.

One day, I go into the lunchroom and she is sitting there staring into space and shaking her head.

I ask her what’s up.

Friend: “You won’t believe it. I caught the lunch thief. It won’t do any good.”

She had come into the room to start her break and pulled out her lunch. Once again, the applesauce was gone.

While she was eating, our library director — who was already known for being the most incompetent twit in all library-dom — came in to get some water and was standing around so she decided to ask if he had ever been hit by the food thief.

He smiled brilliantly.

Director: “No, I haven’t. Have you?”

Friend: “Yes. Someone keeps going into my lunch and taking my dessert.”

Director: “Oh, the [applesauce]? That’s good stuff.”

And he left.

My friend had never complained to him before, nor told him exactly what was being stolen at any time. And of course, nothing was ever done about the thefts, although some people, including [Friend], caught a clue and started hiding their lunch in their lockers in cooler bags.