If They Were Good At Math They Wouldn’t Gamble

(I work as a cashier for the only supermarket in town. A couple comes in and buys cigarettes, alcohol, sandwiches and lottery tickets.)

Man: “I would like to cash this lottery ticket in.”

Me: “Okay, no problem.”

(I bring the ticket to the scanner, and it rings in as a $50.00 winner.)

Me: “Would you like me to deduct the winnings from your purchase, or have the cash?”

Woman: “Just deduct it from the purchase.”

(I deduct the $50.00, and ring in the rest of the groceries. After the deduction, the order comes up to about $35.00, and they give me a $50.00 bill.)

Me: “Here’s your change, $15.00. Thank you, have a great day!”

Woman: “Hey! You didn’t give us all our change back! Where’s our $50.00?!”

Me: “Your order came up to $35.00, in which I gave you $15.00 in change, because the $50.00 was deducted in the beginning.”

Man: “But our order didn’t f****** come up to that much!”

Me: “Well, you have $30.00 worth of scratch tickets, alcohol, groceries, sandwiches, and cigarettes. The whole order would’ve come up to about $85.00 altogether.”

Man: “But where’s our f****** $50.00?!”

Me: “Sir, if I had given you the $50.00 cash, and the whole order came up to $85.00, in which you would’ve given me two $50.00 dollar bills, and I would’ve given you $15.00 in change still.”

Woman: “What the h*** are you talking about? We still didn’t buy that much! You must’ve overcharged us! I demand your manager!”

Me: “Ma’am, the manager is not present at the moment. I will ring your purchase, and your receipt will show that I have not overcharged you.”

(I print the receipt, and show them that the $50.00 was deducted in the beginning at their request, and the rest of the groceries were expensive still.)

Man: “You know what? You don’t know how to do your simple f****** job! No wonder you’re just a cashier and not in college!”

Me: “Sir, if you’d wish, you can leave your name and number with me, and I will give you a refund if we find my drawer is any money over tomorrow.)

Woman: “Forget it, you stupid b****!”

Man: “Just keep it, you greedy a**-hole!”

(They both storm out with their groceries. I ask the next day and the drawer did not come up over. When they came in next, they were given a lecture on how they spoke to me.)