If Only There Was A Bobble Hat For Every Black Hat

, , , | Romantic | April 19, 2021

My sisters and I are on a family skiing holiday in France with our dad; we are from England. I’ve gotten into the hotel lift with one of my younger sisters and two guys; [Guy #1] is wearing a black beanie whilst [Guy #2] is wearing a very bright, multicoloured stripey bobble hat with a neon green and pink bobble. [Guy #1] gives us a very obvious once-over whilst clearly trying not to look obvious. He nudges [Guy #2] and nods to us, and he glances at us.

Guy #1: *Quite loudly* “They’re fit. The s*** I’d do to them…”

Guy #2: *Shaking his head* “’Cause that’s not creepy, [Guy #1]. Just ogling two random girls and then talking about them.”

Guy #1: “Chill, they’re French. They don’t understand.”

Guy #2: “They can still pick up on body language and tone. You’re about as subtle as a brick to the face. Plus, it’s still creepy. Even if they weren’t in an enclosed square with us, they’re people, you get that?”

Guy #1: “I’m not like, saying I’d hurt them. Just like, I’d show ’em a good time.”

Guy #2: “Mate, no.”

Guy #1: “If they consented! Obviously!”

Guy #2: “It’s creepy to talk about two girls like that! Basic respect is a basic right!”

Guy #1: “They’re French! We’re speaking English! It’s fine!”

Sister: “Just FYI, French people learn English in school.”

There’s a really awkward silence. [Guy #2] takes off his hat and starts twisting it.

Guy #1: “Your English is very good”

Me: “That’s because we’re British.”

There’s another really awkward silence. [Guy #2] twists his hat more.

Guy #1: “Soooooooo… wanna like… get a drink later?”

Guy #2: *Hitting [Guy #1] with his hat* “Mate! No! Stop! I swear he’s just an idiot with absolute zero awareness; he’s not some dodgy perv that hurts girls! Or anyone, really! Paper bags are a bigger threat, I swear!”

The lift opens, and [Guy #2] pushes [Guy #1] out.

Guy #2: “Lovely meeting you. I’m really sorry!”

A few days later, we’re grabbing breakfast in the hotel lobby with our dad.

Dad: “That was weird.”

Me: *Not really paying attention* “Hmm?”

Dad: “Two guys walked in, one in the brightest bobble hat I have ever seen, the other in a black hat. Bobble Hat seemed to look at [Sister], grabbed Black Hat, and pushed him out of the lobby.”

We clued Dad into what had happened but didn’t see much of either of the two guys. I can only presume [Guy #2] would spot us and steer [Guy #1] away.

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