Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 3

(My significant other and I are both female. It’s been a few weeks since we started dating, and because she’s my first girlfriend, I have been going to great and slightly awkward pains to be super-courteous. We’re sitting on her bed, when I feel an urge to fart. I do my best to make it as unspectacular as possible. I think I’m in the clear until she blinks and starts poking around in the blankets.)

Me: “What’s the matter?”

Girlfriend: *totally serious* “Someone’s phone just went off.”

(I can’t help myself. I burst out laughing.)

Girlfriend: *looks at me like I’ve lost my marbles, then smiles slowly* “Oh. Oh, I get it. You farted, didn’t you?”

(She suddenly gets excited.)

Girlfriend: “Oh my God! You know what that means don’t you? We just passed a crucial relationship milestone, for better or for worse!”

Me: *grinning* “Probably for worse.”

Girlfriend: *sniffs deeply and sighs* “I feel so close to you right now.”