If I Have Time to Lean, I Have Time To Ruin A Jerk’s Routine

It’s about fifteen minutes to closing. I spot a customer walking up to me at the customer service desk, looking pleased with himself.

Customer: “You look bored, let me give you something to do.”

Me: “I’m happy to assist, sir, but rest assured that I am quite busy directing all associate activities, answering the store phone, responding to manager calls from the tills, and trying to do my own tasks. But, yes, that millisecond that I took to straighten my back and take a deep breath MUST have looked mighty lazy of me!”

Customer: *Short-circuiting.* “I… uh…”

Me: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “I’m… I’m actually okay.”

Me: “Wonderful! Now, if you don’t mind, these end-of-shift reports aren’t going to write themselves!”