If Anyone Is Gonna Get A Virus…

, , | Legal | May 21, 2019

Me: “Hello?”

Scammer: “Hello, I am calling from the computer network office. Your computer has been receiving multiple error messages, due to downloading viruses from the Internet that are harmful to your computer.”

Me: “Oh, no! How’d that happen?!”

Scammer: “Your computer has downloaded viruses from the Internet. If you are near your computer, I can help you block and purge the viruses.”

Me: “What do I need to do?”

Scammer: “Ma’am, I need you to go to your computer, and hit [key sequence].”

Me: “Okay!”

Scammer: “Okay, ma’am, please tell me what you see on your computer screen.”

Me: “All my files.”

Scammer: “No, ma’am, I need you to push [key sequence] and tell me what appears on your screen.”

Me: “Okay!”

Scammer: “Ma’am, what do you see on your computer screen?”

Me: “My files.”

Scammer: “Ma’am, what files are these?”

Me: “P*rn.”

Scammer: “…”

Me: “My husband and I are amateur p*rnography filmmakers. We post our homemade videos online. They usually star us and our friends.”

Scammer: *hangs up*

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