iEntitlement

It’s the early 2010s. I am serving a customer who was also in yesterday.

Customer: “I got this iPod replaced yesterday. It’s still not working, and I was told that if it didn’t work, you would replace it with the latest model, brand new.”

I look up the serial number and case information from the customer’s paperwork.

Me: “Okay, yes, I can see that this was replaced for you yesterday. I can also see that the person you worked with stated that this was a courtesy replacement since the device was already out of warranty and no trouble was found with the device; it sounded like it was all a software problem. Do you mind giving me some more information about the problem?”

Customer: “I was told that you would give me a new iPod Touch, and I want a new one.”

Me: “So, here’s the deal. I am 100% willing to honor that offer, but you have to tell me about the problem. If the problem is one with our product, you get the newest iPod Touch, guaranteed, since someone already set that expectation. But if the problem you’re having is due to something other than our product, you will not receive a new product. Do we have an understanding?”

Customer: “Fine. Yes. My iPod won’t sync with my computer.”

Me: “When did this start happening?”

Customer: “I don’t think it ever worked with this computer because my son used it with his. That’s where I got the music.”

Me: “Okay. What happened to the other computer that we know this device worked with?”

Customer: “My son took it to college.” 

Me: “So it sounds like you have another machine at home, and you want to sync this iPod with that one, but it isn’t working, is that correct?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s exactly right.”

Me: “Great. Do you have this machine with you?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Can you please give me more information about this machine? How old is it? What type of software is on it?”

Customer: “You people are all the same.”

Me: “If you do not know, just say so. That will be fine.”

Customer: “No, I don’t know. How should I know?”

Me: “Here are instructions to use to find out if your computer at home is compatible with this model iPod Touch. If the requirements of that machine do not meet or exceed these requirements, it will never work due to the software being outdated. Does this make sense?”

Customer: “You need to give me a new iPod. This is ridiculous. This was a gift and I intend to use it. You’re stopping me from using this and this is enough. If you can’t give me a new one, you need to give me my money back.”

Me: “It was a gift?”

I look it up in our system and see that it was purchased at [Electronics Chain].

Me: “Ah. I can see here that it was purchased and is still registered to a Mr. [Purchaser]. Is that the person who gave it to you?”

Customer: “Yes! You see! Give me my money back! Let me speak to your supervisor.”

Me: “Well, I actually am the manager, so I won’t be getting anyone else to oversee this conversation. And just to make sure I’m understanding you correctly, please allow me to break down this situation. You received an iPod Touch as a gift — as in, for free — from Mr. [Purchaser] over two and a half years ago. It never worked with the computer you’re attempting to connect it to now and you refuse to look into whether or not this computer has the capacity to work with this model iPod Touch. Furthermore, you think that I should give you — again, without cost to you — either a brand new model iPod Touch or the cash equivalent that was paid at the time of original purchase. Is that right?”

Customer: *Exasperated* “YES! Thank God! You’re finally understanding me.”

Me: “Good! I’m so glad I understand. I will not be replacing your iPod, nor will I give you cash back that someone else spent. Have a good night.”

The customer walked away swearing at me. The f****** balls on some people.