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Idiots In Both Hemispheres

, , , , , , , | Right | September 3, 2022

I am managing a series of escape rooms one evening. A group of nice but ditzy college-aged customers have just gone through the induction and have started their challenge.

The theme is an Amazonian rainforest, and the group is trying to escape an ancient temple. One of the puzzles is a riff off of Indiana Jones where they have to swap the idol with a counterweight, except this time instead of a booby trap this action will open the next section. The group has had access to enough clues that they need to put five pounds of weight on the scale when they remove the idol.

I am listening in and monitoring from our control room.

Customer #1: “We need to put the five-pound weight on it!”

Customer #2: “No, wait!”

Customer #1: “What?”

Customer #2: “This temple is in the southern hemisphere, right? We need to put on the two-and-a-half-pound weight, instead!”

Customer #1: “Oh, yeah! You’re right!”

I am almost tempted to ask a big “Why?” over the intercom, but one of the group members gets there before me.

Customer #3: “What are you talking about?”

Customer #1: “The southern hemisphere is closer to the sun, so gravity is halved.”

Customer #2: “Yeah, the people who made this escape room are probably thinking we’d not know that!”

Customer #3: “Absolutely everything you just said is 100% wrong.”

Customer #1: “Excuse me, [Customer #3], but who is the one majoring in geography, here?”

Customer #3: “None of us, apparently…”

They did not escape the temple.

Question of the Week

What is the absolute most stupid thing you’ve heard a customer say?

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