Ich Bin Ein Idiot

(I’ve spent some 33 years calling on Illinois high schools as a textbook sales representative. On one occasion, while walking through a school hallway, I notice an empty classroom. Looking inside, I can tell by the posters on the walls that it is a German teacher’s room. Furthermore, the teacher’s name is on a large poster board taped to the door. Knowing the teacher will be returning soon, I pull a new German book out of my heavy book bag and wait for the bell to ring.)

Me: “Hello, Mrs. Willkommen. My name is [My Name]; I am a textbook sales rep and I’d like to show you our new German reader.”

Teacher: “Let me get this straight. You are selling German textbooks and you didn’t know that ‘Willkommen’ in German means ‘welcome’?”