I Wish The Underworld Would Just Swallow Me Up

(My dad and I are both huge nerds and really loved the first Underworld movie. I’m in my mid-teens, and we decide to watch the second movie together. Unfortunately we didn’t realize that one of the early scenes in the movie is a relatively explicit sex scene between a vampire and a werewolf. A teen-aged girl watching this with her father makes for awkwardness. This was my dad’s attempt to mitigate that.)

Dad: “And then they had little Disney babies! And one was a werewolf and one was a vampire, even though genetically that makes no god-d***ed sense!”

(10 years later and I still can’t watch sex scenes in movies without thinking of that!)