I Wish I Was A Woman, Just Like My Dear Papa!

(I’m reading a list of patron saints on the Internet, and chatting about it over text with my mom. A little while before this, I’d mentioned the fact that out of four patron saints of pregnancy, three are male.)

Me: “THERE’S A PATRON SAINT OF LUMBERJACKS! MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!”

Mom: “YAY!”

Me: “HE EVEN HAS A FLUFFY BEARD!”

Mom: “OF COURSE HE DOES; HOW COULD HE NOT?”

Mom: “Actually, after the pregnancy-saint talk, I want the patron saint of lumberjacks to be a super-dainty gay man.”

Me: “Actually, yes, please. That’s the only thing that would be better than this.”