I Swear The Original Comparison Had To Do With Pizza

I rarely swear, and when I was young and earnest I used to get uncomfortable around people who did. I got over myself in the end, but reputations can be long-lasting, so people sometimes comment on it. I’m talking to a friend about this. He has a darker sense of humour and gets a kick out of shocking me.

Friend: “Swearing is like sex; its impolite to do in public, doing it with someone shows how much you like them, and if you go to a party where everyone’s doing it and you just point out that you don’t like it, they begin to wonder why you came.”

I’m about to comment, and then…

Friend: “Also, doing it with someone who doesn’t like it is rude at best.”

Me: *Shocked* “F****** h***, dude!”

Friend: “Ah, you’re catching on.”