I Swear That’s Not How The Nursery Rhyme Goes

, , , , , | Related | October 1, 2018

(My husband swears like a truck-driving sailor. This has never bothered me, but since the birth of our daughter he’s tried to watch his language around her, especially now that our daughter is two and likes to repeat anything she finds especially funny. One day my husband accidentally stubs his toe against the wall and starts to yell, “MOTHER…” Seeing our daughter staring up at him he ends with, “…Hubbard!” The next day we are out to lunch with my rather conservative parents. Our daughter is in a high chair and accidentally drops her sippy cup on the floor.)

Daughter: *screams as loud as she can* “MOTHER HUBBARD!”

(The few other people in the restaurant turn to stare at us.)

Mother: “[Husband]!”

Husband: “What?”

Mother: “You know what!”

Husband: *meekly* “Well, she wasn’t swearing… Do I get points for that at least?”

(For the next two weeks we had to endure our daughter shouting, “Mother Hubbard!” whenever anything happened she didn’t like. My husband still maintains he should get credit for teaching her an “acceptable substitute.”)

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