I Swear If You Say One More Word

| Related | May 12, 2014

(I’m staying at my younger brother’s house with my six-year-old daughter and thirteen-year-old son. My brother is a great guy, but he’s not particularly patient or fond of children. He’s playing an old Nintendo game on his day off, with my daughter on his lap watching with interest, and my son wandering around bored.)

Son: “Why are you playing that dumb kiddy game? Why don’t you play something interesting like [Popular Shooter Game]?”

Daughter: “Shut up! This is the good part!”

Son: “I’m serious. Go play a real game. This is just stupid bulls***.”

Daughter: “You’re not supposed to swear, [Son]!”

Son: “Well, it is! I don’t even know why he has games like that. They’re for little kids.”

Brother: *pauses the game, looks him right in the eye* “I’m playing a ‘stupid kiddy casual game’ because I’m a motherf****** adult, you little brat. Now f*** off and find something else to do before I start assigning chores.”

Son & Daughter: “DAAAAAD!”

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