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I Pronounce This Scammer Vanquished! For Now…

, , , | Working | June 3, 2020

Thanks to Not Always Working and the Internet, I’ve read about the “Your Windows Computer has a virus” scam, but I’ve never heard of it done in Germany.

One day, I’m home during the day when the phone rings. The caller immediately talks to me in English, which is very unusual here; while many people know some English, you don’t just assume they do.

Caller: “Hello, is this [bad pronunciation of My Husband’s Name]?”

Me: “Who’s asking?”

Caller: “Is this [bad pronunciation of My Husband’s Name, this time going so far as to spell out the ‘difficult’ German sounds]?”

I realize this could be good.

Me: *Pauses* “Okay, fine, yeah, that’s me.”

Caller: “I’m calling from Windows customer support—”

I start giggling because I can’t believe they’re actually trying this.

Me: “Really? Oh, dear.”

Caller: “Ma’am, why are you laughing?”

Me: “Sorry, sorry. I’m nervous; I’ve never talked to Windows support before. Please, do go on. I’m dying to hear this.”

Caller: “Well, we have noticed your computer has a virus and it’s important that you—”

Unfortunately, I burst out laughing at this point and decide that’s enough.

Me: “Thank you. So much. That made my day! I can’t believe you’re trying that scam in foreign countries now!”

I hang up. Later, I recount the scene to my husband. His first reaction:

Husband: “Oh… Um, but did they say which virus?”

Maybe it’s a good thing I answered the phone that day, or they might’ve just succeeded.

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