I Pretend To Work And You Pretend To Pay Me

(I work in a facility where the general opinion among everyone is that we are incredibly underpaid for what we do. It was announced the day before by the CEO that we were all getting a 3% raise, the first in years, and we all suppose it is better than nothing. The next morning, I am sharing the details with a coworker that missed the meeting.)

Me: *in a mildly sarcastic tone* “So, starting next month, you’re making something like 45 cents more every hour. That’s like four dollars a day!”

Him: *matching my tone* “Yeah, and I bet it’ll make you push your cart around faster every day!”

Me: “Yeah. Three percent faster…”