I Mean… He’ll Pass Out Eventually, Right?

I work at an after-hours doctor’s office. I got this phone call one night.

Patient: “I want some [opioid painkiller], and I’m going to keep drinking vodka until the doctor agrees to prescribe it for me!”

I tried to explain that that isn’t how it works, but he was very confident in his scheme.

I apologized in advance to the doctor on duty for this patient, and she handled it from there.