I Love The Smell Of BS In The Morning…

, , , , , | Right | July 19, 2016

(The high-end restaurant I work at offers a hefty discount to serving military or military veterans. A couple comes in, the man in an army uniform. I notice something off about the man’s ribbons and notify the restaurant owner (who is a veteran). He goes over to the couple’s table.)

Owner: “Good evening. Welcome to [Restaurant]. I’m the owner, [Owner]. I just wanted to come over and thank you for your service. Would you two like a glass of wine on the house?”

Man: *obviously pleased at the recognition* “Sure, thanks.”

Owner: “Or would you prefer a soft drink? I know alcohol doesn’t stand up to the super-soldier serum very well.”

Man: “What?”

Owner: “Well, by your ribbons there, I see you served in Vietnam. You don’t look a day older than 30, so my guess would be super-soldier serum, right?”

Man: *now bright red* “Uh…”

Owner: “Only explanation for it, considering that impersonating a military officer is worth three years in prison, and no one would be f***-witted enough to do that for a discounted meal, right?”

Woman: *absolutely enraged* “You lying f****** a**hole!”

(The man bolted out without his date. The owner gave the woman a free meal and a couple of desserts to take home, and one of the wait staff gave her a ride home.)


This story is part of our Veteran’s Day roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

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