I Know Everyone In Relation To Me

| Related | December 11, 2013

(I’m at a girls cabin at a teen retreat camp. I’ve just finished unpacking my stuff after a 25-hour drive with 8 buses. I look across the room to the bunk bed parallel to mine and see someone I think might be my cousin.)

Me: “Is your name Porter?”

Girl: “Yeah. Aren’t you my third cousin?”

Me: “Yeah, I thought so. Just making sure! Hi, cousin. Nice to meet you!”

Girl: “Nice to finally meet you!”

(My friend has been listening to this. She looks amazed because this has happened right after unloading the buses, when I was continuously giving people hugs and telling them hello.)

Me: “Allow me to explain. My dad is one of 13 children, so I have a big family. Ten cousins that I know of are on the trip with us.”

Friend: “Are you related to everybody!?”

Me: *laughing* “Just about!”

(Later that night, one of the chaperones approaches my friend and me.)

Chaperone: “Are you two sisters or related or something? Because y’all look like twins!”

Friend: “Not yet!”

(My friend drops to one knee in front of me.)

Friend: “Will you marry me?”

(We all laugh. After we finally calm down again, she turns to me.)

Friend: “I think your brother is very cute though; so, maybe one day we will be related!”

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