I Just Don’t Have The Words

(I’m the stupid customer in this one. In my defense, I’ve woken up in the middle of the night, packed a bag, driven to the airport, parked in long-term parking, taken a shuttle, passed through security, and walked to my gate, all without saying anything to anyone. I’ve been awake for at least four hours today without saying a word, which, if you think about it, doesn’t happen often. I stand in line at a breakfast kiosk, preparing for the first words to come out of my mouth that day: “I’ll have a cinnamon raisin bagel, please.”)

Me: “Cinnamon ragel.”

(I then stared at the employee, expectantly, wondering why he didn’t understand my request of “cinnamon ragel.”)