I Find Your Lack Of Period-Appropriate Attire… Disturbing

I am taking tickets for a Renaissance fair. Wearing costumes among the guests isn’t mandatory but is highly encouraged. While most wear some form of historical clothing, I’ve also seen people in Star Trek uniforms on time-travelling away missions and groups in Lederhosen because it looked “historical enough.”

A customer runs up to me after being let in.

Customer: “You have to kick that group out! They’re ruining the experience!”

I look over to where he is pointing, expecting to see someone drunk or angry, but instead, I see a family with two young boys running around as mini stormtroopers from “Star Wars”.

I already know where this is going.

Me: “Sir, how are they causing a disruption?”

Customer: “They’re not in period-appropriate attire!”

Me: “Sir, they don’t have to be. Costumes are not mandatory, and we won’t stop anyone from entering unless they’re wearing something offensive.”

Customer: “It’s offensive to me! They should be wearing something historical! If they can’t wear something period-appropriate, then it should at least be from history! None of this futuristic crap!”

Me: “Well, sir, technically, it is historical.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “Every Star Wars movie begins with ‘A long time ago…’”

The customer opens his mouth to speak and then shuts it. A customer who has been listening speaks up.

Customer #2: “Bahaha! She’s got you there!”

Customer: “That’s a technicality! They should—”

Customer #2: “Dude! Just let people enjoy things! She can’t kick them out because their kids wanted to wear those costumes!”

Me: “I’m afraid he’s right, sir.”

The customer storms off.

Customer #2: “May the Force be with you!”

This story is part of the Star Wars Day: May The Fourth roundup!

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