I Find Your Lack Of Concessions… Disturbing

| Right | August 21, 2016

(It’s a few days after “Star Wars” has opened, and it’s been playing to all-day sold-out screenings since it opened. We’ve had such huge, record-numbers of guests, that we’ve actually started to run out of many of our concessions. It’s a Monday night, my shift ends in ten minutes, and I’m dealing with my last round of customers, who are of course there to see “Star Wars.” We have a large group of people in the stand because we’ve had to bring in the new hires for emergency training to deal with the record-number of guests. However, as they are all training, they can’t really help me.)

Customer: “Pretzels, please.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but we’ve actually sold out of pretzels.”

Customer: “But it’s a MONDAY!”

Me: “Unfortunately, Saturday was the busiest day we’ve ever had in the theater’s history, and all of our pretzels sold out by that afternoon.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine. Pepperoni pizza, then.”

Me: “We also sold out of all of our pizzas Saturday. I really apologize. We’ve been dealing with record-numbers of guests the past few weeks and we’ve been selling out of much of our stock.”

Customer: *fuming* “You’ve gotta be kidding me! Nachos?”

Me: *wincing* “Sold out as well. I’m so sorry.”

Customer: “FINE! HOT DOGS!”

Me: “We do have hot dogs, but there’s none prepared at the moment. We could have some ready in about fifteen minutes, if you’d like.”

Customer: *screaming; pointing to the trainees around the stand* “What the f*** are you all good for, then?! So many people around you and you’re too STUPID to make f****** hot dogs?!”

Me: “We actually sold all of the hot dogs we had prepared on the guests before you. I really apologize.”

Customer: *pulling phone out* “POPCORN! MEDIUM! AND I WANT COURTESY TRAYS TO SPLIT IT WITH MY BOYFRIEND!”

Me: “We’re out of courtesy trays.”

Customer: “F*** YOU!”

(The customer storms off.)

Next Customer: “Wow, she was dramatic…”

Me: “Yeah, I apologize. We’ve sold out of a lot of inventory and it’s been ugly here the past few weeks as a result. How can I help you?”

Next Customer: “Can I get some nachos?”

Me: “Sorry, but we sold out of them.”

Next Customer: *instantly furious* “WHAT?! THIS IS BULL-S***!”


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